The struggles in life are what make it worth while

It's been a while since I've posted, & I have a lot of updates and venting to do! Last time I wrote, I was in the hospital with the love of my life praying for a miracle. Well, He SURVIVED! After being in a medicated coma since November 4, on November 18 they took him off the ventilator. A long 6 days later, on November 24, 2009, he got out of the hospital; making it a total of 20 whole days of being at Tripler.  The final diagnosis was Strep Phenomonia, Swine Flu, Septic Shock, & walked out with a blood clot in his jugular vein from an infected IV. We were able to enjoy Thanksgiving with good friends in Hawaii & his Aunt Malinda and Uncle Jessie, something doctors never expected to happen. I flew out the night of Thanksgiving and made it home in enough time to get some rest & make it to school, after not being there for a solid week. 

After getting out of the hospital, Cody's command gave him convalescent leave for a little over 30 days(December 4-January 6). We were thrilled! But as the time came for him to start his journey home, the south starting showing signs of snow. I pretty much stayed on my toes until the afternoon we left to pick him up from the airport in Houston, Texas; by that time it was SNOWING! I refused to go another day without my baby so me & mom hopped in the car & drove to get him. His plane had a few delays and we ended up not getting home till around 6 o'clock the next morning, but we knew it was well worth it! I had my sweetheart home for throughout the whole month of December  and New Years..after the year we had, spending New Years in his arms was a blessing all in itself. I can't explain how much I absolutely loved having him home with me..every day waking up to his smiling face & every night going to bed knowing I would be in his arms. We didn't do many things during leave, just chilled out around home with family & friends & had a relaxing vacation from the world. Of course, it ended all to soon!! 

Ever since the morning I drove away from him, my heart hasn't felt whole & life seems incomplete. It has been a very rocky road as the weeks have passed. Our relationship seems to have lost it's touch and there's a burden in our lives. When Cody was deployed all I could think about was how soon non-military life would come, & now that has been put to a halt. Cody is now on blood thinners & pending a Med Board. If this clot doesn't go away they can hold him till July & possibly another 6 months..You could say I have pretty much lost all faith. We have been together a year, I know that's a short time compared to some wives & girlfriends of marines, but I never thought things would get this hard. Hell, we survived a deployment; I thought that was the biggest test God could ever give us, but I was wrong. Being 5,000 miles away from each other with so many new things in life being thrown at me, I have started to become extremely stressed and worried about every single thing possible. I never in my life thought I would say this but, I need my bestfriend by my side. He is my rock, the person I run to when things get hard, my soulmate who knows just what to say to make things all fade away. I'm slowly but surely learning how to deal with the events coming up in my life alone, that has been my biggest challenge. Our plans were set and I feel so unsure of myself now that every thing has gone down the drain. 

In my heart, the only thing I wish for is the love we shared..the kind that every single person I knew wished to have. I want "us" back..He is the love of my life, my soulmate, my BESTfriend who has been there for me through thick & thin-the good times & the bad, he is man I want to spend the rest of my life with because I know there will never be a person out there so compatible to me. He isn't perfect, but growing up I never dreamed of a perfect guy. All I dreamed of was a guy who could make me smile, laugh, fall in love over & over each day, & someone to grow old with. He is the love I want to be in, because I could never find anyone in this world that could ever compare to him. 

I am slowly gaining my faith back, realizing that patience is key. I know that God wouldn't get us through all the obstacles we have overcome just to let us give up. I am STRONG, we are IN LOVE, we WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS ROUGH PATCH! 

"True Love Prevails"