The struggles in life are what make it worth while

It's been a while since I've posted, & I have a lot of updates and venting to do! Last time I wrote, I was in the hospital with the love of my life praying for a miracle. Well, He SURVIVED! After being in a medicated coma since November 4, on November 18 they took him off the ventilator. A long 6 days later, on November 24, 2009, he got out of the hospital; making it a total of 20 whole days of being at Tripler.  The final diagnosis was Strep Phenomonia, Swine Flu, Septic Shock, & walked out with a blood clot in his jugular vein from an infected IV. We were able to enjoy Thanksgiving with good friends in Hawaii & his Aunt Malinda and Uncle Jessie, something doctors never expected to happen. I flew out the night of Thanksgiving and made it home in enough time to get some rest & make it to school, after not being there for a solid week. 

After getting out of the hospital, Cody's command gave him convalescent leave for a little over 30 days(December 4-January 6). We were thrilled! But as the time came for him to start his journey home, the south starting showing signs of snow. I pretty much stayed on my toes until the afternoon we left to pick him up from the airport in Houston, Texas; by that time it was SNOWING! I refused to go another day without my baby so me & mom hopped in the car & drove to get him. His plane had a few delays and we ended up not getting home till around 6 o'clock the next morning, but we knew it was well worth it! I had my sweetheart home for throughout the whole month of December  and New Years..after the year we had, spending New Years in his arms was a blessing all in itself. I can't explain how much I absolutely loved having him home with me..every day waking up to his smiling face & every night going to bed knowing I would be in his arms. We didn't do many things during leave, just chilled out around home with family & friends & had a relaxing vacation from the world. Of course, it ended all to soon!! 

Ever since the morning I drove away from him, my heart hasn't felt whole & life seems incomplete. It has been a very rocky road as the weeks have passed. Our relationship seems to have lost it's touch and there's a burden in our lives. When Cody was deployed all I could think about was how soon non-military life would come, & now that has been put to a halt. Cody is now on blood thinners & pending a Med Board. If this clot doesn't go away they can hold him till July & possibly another 6 months..You could say I have pretty much lost all faith. We have been together a year, I know that's a short time compared to some wives & girlfriends of marines, but I never thought things would get this hard. Hell, we survived a deployment; I thought that was the biggest test God could ever give us, but I was wrong. Being 5,000 miles away from each other with so many new things in life being thrown at me, I have started to become extremely stressed and worried about every single thing possible. I never in my life thought I would say this but, I need my bestfriend by my side. He is my rock, the person I run to when things get hard, my soulmate who knows just what to say to make things all fade away. I'm slowly but surely learning how to deal with the events coming up in my life alone, that has been my biggest challenge. Our plans were set and I feel so unsure of myself now that every thing has gone down the drain. 

In my heart, the only thing I wish for is the love we shared..the kind that every single person I knew wished to have. I want "us" back..He is the love of my life, my soulmate, my BESTfriend who has been there for me through thick & thin-the good times & the bad, he is man I want to spend the rest of my life with because I know there will never be a person out there so compatible to me. He isn't perfect, but growing up I never dreamed of a perfect guy. All I dreamed of was a guy who could make me smile, laugh, fall in love over & over each day, & someone to grow old with. He is the love I want to be in, because I could never find anyone in this world that could ever compare to him. 

I am slowly gaining my faith back, realizing that patience is key. I know that God wouldn't get us through all the obstacles we have overcome just to let us give up. I am STRONG, we are IN LOVE, we WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS ROUGH PATCH! 

"True Love Prevails"

As I sit by his side, Helpless!

As I sit here by Cody's bedside, I continuosly wonder what is going on in his mind. I watch him like a hawk but won't ever know the thoughts that he posses at this crucial moment. This is Day 12 for him, but only Day 4 of me being by his side.  We arrived Friday, November 13th, at around 2:00 pm Hawaii time. Our crew consisted of myself, my mother, my cousin Celesta who is an ICU nurse, Cody's Aunt Malinda & Uncle Jesse. We got to the island, dropped off our things at the hotel & immediately rushed to the hospital. I didn't want to waste another minute not being by his side. Once we got here things just didn't look good. I never imagined seeing Cody, the love of my life, in this condition. Seeing him so helpless made me hurt so bad inside, I just wanted to hit my knees. The doctors explained the extent of his illness to us and just told us that he wasn't to sure of what was going to happen. He explained that both good days & bad days were to be expected. Also, not to be surprised if he took two steps forward but one step back. I was kind of discouraged but I know Cody is VERY strong & is one heck of a fighter so I was a little more optimistic considering he had just been in Afghan Land and came home safe & sound.

Saturday seemed to be the start of his good days. We arrived at the hospital at around 11:00am. Once we got here, things moved slow but we made a little progress. At this time, he was still pretty sedated but as we were leaving he started to open his eyes & lift his eyebrows..THAT made my day. The doctor then explained that he was very encouraged..they had been lowering Cody's sedation & oxygen levels; all great signs of improvements. I was able to rest easy knowing there was alot to look forward to on Sunday.


Sunday rolled around..We got back over to the hospital & found out that he was making more and more progress. Cody seemed to be very aware that we were there. As we all moved in and started talking to him he started opening his eyes and moving his eyebrows up & down. As time went by he picked up his arm to hold my hand..then lifted his legs. I told him I was gonna paint his toenails pink & he lifted his eyebrows real fast & shook his head no..hehe :) I was in "awe" at this point. I decided to stay with Cody overnight here at the hospital.


As I he lay there watching tv & I sit by his side, I decided to make small talk with him just to see if he would respond. I told Cody "See I told you I would spend thanksgiving with you" He shook his head yes. I said "I love you baby, can you shake your head if you love me?" He opened his eyes real big & shook his head yes. I said "I love you more & now you can't argue with me" He shook his head no. I said "See, I am always right, huh?" He shook his head yes! ;)


Today: Monday, November 16th, was a good day. We got news that this week they are going to try & wean him completely off the ventilator. That means no more tube down his throat, no more sedatives, & kisses for me!! YAY! :)

Somtimes I wonder why these things happen..why God puts us through these hardships..but I know "If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it." I feel so blessed to be here by his side. I love my job, & I'm proud to say I'm a Marine's Girl. OORAH! I thank God everyday that I got to come out alot earlier than planned. I also am so grateful to have my mom by my side giving me the encouragement & Cody strength. I know that all these trials have only strengthened our relationship..& it definitely can't be compared to any one elses! I'm hooked; after this I will be glued to Cody's side! Cammies or no cammies, we're walking hand in hand out of here!!! <3 (If your a marines girl, you know the rule-no holding hands while your mans in cammies.)

 "It might be stormy now, but it CAN'T rain forever!"

My First Blog!

As some of you may know, I went out to Hawaii for Cody's Homecoming from Afghanistan a few weeks ago. I am finally getting back on my feet and starting to post on Facebook again. With the encouragement from my grandmother, I decided to start a blog of all the events that are going on. I left for Hawaii on Tuesday, October 27th. I landed that night and stayed with Nicole, a wife of one of Cody's good friends. The first night we kind of just chilled. The next day we woke up super early, of course not because we wanted to, but because of the time difference it would have been really late in Louisiana. We went to Pyramid Rock Beach on the base at Kaneohe Bay where the guys are stationed. We then spent the rest of the day shopping and getting ready for our guys to get home!!

Cody's plane arrived at around 7:40 but wasn't supposed to be there till around 8:05 am. The Marine Corps was early instead of late?? -SHOCKER!! But of course us girls were running a little late because we expected the good ol' USMC to let us down. Boy, were we wrong! We didn't get to see the plane land but were just in time to see them open the door. We stood away from the crowd so my photographer, Courtney, could get some really good pictures. I was, of course, VERY impatient. He seemed to literally be the last one off the plane. I had no idea that just one company had so many men! FINALLY, we saw Cody walking down the red carpet..HORRAY! He pushed through the crowd & saw me...That was seriously, the best minute of my life. As soon as I saw his face, I ran towards him! If you don't know, 6 months is a LONGGG time not being able to see the one you love. Though 6 months of his deployment in Afghanistan was not peachy & I didn't enjoy those lonely days & not being able to talk to him sometimes..But after it was all said and done, it definitely made me a stronger person & it made our relationship untouchable!! We both know after going through all of that, that no matter what be thrown at us, we can get through it..TOGETHER!

So, that day was quite hectic. Lots of stuff had to be done before I could have him to myself. First, he had to get on a bus and go down to the armory to save his weapon. After that, we headed back to the Hangar to get his car. Once that was done we went to get Cody a new ID then headed to the barracks to get his bags. We brought them to his room & got a few things he needed. Then there was the good ol' formation (that I didn't miss while he was deployed)!! That took a few hours then it was time for some "us" time! We went to Waikiki and pretty much just rode around. The next day we decided to go to Pearl Harbor. It was amazing, Very touching too!! That night we ate at Outback & then walked the beach. Our plans for the next day were Parasailing...EPIC FAIL! Suddenly, me & Cody were really sick. By mid day we decided to go to Doc Hursts' house..He calls him his sweetheart :)  He was Cody's doc while in Afghanistan. He tried a few things but nothing seemed to be working. That night, we decided to go to the ER. Tripler Army Medical Center is where we ended up. After about 5 hours there, they concluded that we had Respiratory Infections & gave us some meds. After that, we pretty much just chilled out until I left. Sunday, we walked the Waikiki strip and got some gift shopping done. That night we ate at Chili's and then walked the beach again.

Next, was that day that we never wanted to come. It was time for me to go home.. :(

We went to base so I could meet his longtime buddy, Justin Head. He had gotten home the night before from Afghan. (Each company got back on a different day) It passed really quickly and before I knew it, I was in the red trans am heading to the Honolulu Airport. I got the puppy dog face from Cody, which made it even worse. The next part was literally HELL. We parked in the wrong section & ended up having to walk a few miles down to my gate. We got to my check-in desk & it was too late..No more check-ins. So, to the next desk we went. They pretty much told me I would be lucky if I boarded the flight. So I ran...ran...& ran some more, honestly I felt like Forrest Gump. For a short minute I actually just stopped, called Cody, & stood there and cried. I started running again for what seemed like 5 miles & heard "Last boarding call for Gate 34", I was at Gate 30. Wow, did I book it or what. Moral of that story-I made it, Unfortunately :/ I didn't get my proper goodbye from my baby...& pretty much cried my whole flight to San Francisco. I got home at around 8:30 am and went back to reality:school.

That Wednesday I get a call from Cody, things had taken a turn for the worst. That day, my heart seemed to shatter into a million pieces. He was tremendously ill and was going back to the ER. That day they admitted him into ICU and immediately sedated him. He has been under since...and here I am stuck 5,000 miles away from him...Miserable!! His worst days seemed to be, obviously, that Wednesday, and the following Thursday and Friday. I was unable to get any info from the hospital because I wasn't blood related, which killed me!  I got really worried so finally Friday I asked Isaac, Cody's bestfriend, to go down there and check on him. He went down and somehow lied and said he was his brother and got info and was able to visit him. I am only writing this because I think it's hilarious. Cody's italian and Isaac's a mexican..I mean absolutely NO resemblance..What kinda show are they running down there? LOL!  He also wants me to tell Cody that he paid $130 for a cab ride there..Isaac's a dirty mexican but we all love him ;). Saturday, I went over to Burt's house(his stepdad) and we put my name on the calling list. Saturday was a very emotional day for us all. We found out how sick Cody truly was and honestly, things weren't looking good. All we could do was pray for a miracle. Sunday morning I woke up and called the hospital. They hadn't seen any changes but it was still pretty early there(4 hours behind me). A few of Cody's buddies went to see him; Head, Tarkett, First Sergeant Kinzer, and 4 guys from his squad. I called the room & talked to one of them. I'm really bad with names, & there's just so many darn marines that love my baby that these guys will just have to be unknown for now. That night I called again to get updates. Jamie, Cody's nurse, said that Cody had had a good day..which was NOT expected. I asked one favor..Can you put the phone to his ear & let me say a few words to him? After being strong & pouring my heart out to Cody, I then felt that maybe hearing my voice would give him more strength to fight! I couldn't sleep last night..I tried everything..Benadryl seemed to be my friend. After fighting it for about 2 hours it finally knocked me out. It is killing me not to be by Cody's side but soon I will.  I will rest easy knowing that I will be able to hold his hand, kiss his cheek, & whisper everything's gonna be ok! Getting a little bit better news today definitely means that we have went over the hill & he is on his way to recovery..we're praying for a fast one but I know time heals all. I also know, "It can't rain forever.." At first, I honestly questioned God; Like how could you do this to such a good person who has been through sooo much? Or after all that WE have been through, How?? But in all honesty, now I realize that this is only another test to prove to everyone that we ARE meant to be. To prove that we can get through any obstacle thrown our way! I thought I only needed the strength for the deployment but obviously God had a different plan for us. I just have to remember that these are only obstacles, simply a few bumps in the road; Work is involved to cross them. This is only making me stronger & our relationship stronger. After all this, I honestly know we were meant to be together. There is nothing more in this world that I want than to stand by his side when this is all done with and say, "We did it, now from here on out things can only get better. & If they get worse again, we will be together to cross that bridge together♥ 

I love you Cody James Puma, & I will be by your side no matter what happens. There is nothing that could tear me apart from you.  PS-Meme said you didn't have to go to such extreme measures to get me out there again. You coulda just politely asked if you could have me for Thanksgiving ;)